My random thoughts this morning...

I wanted to get an early start to supper tonight so I stuck a pork roast in the oven with one of my "favorite friends that I've never met" 's recipe.... Ree Drummonds, Spicy Dr. Pepper Pulled Pork... and I don't know what I was thinking... it will be done about 1400..... Supper is at 1800.....???? However.. the home is already smelling delicious! Which I hope makes up for my "ignorance"  when the gas man came in a bit ago to relight our pilot lights... ?? How am I suppose to know what pilot lights are, and where they are, and what all has them?! I'm glad he was nice and that I'll never see him again.  I also propositioned a friend of mine this morning with a dowry of a herd of cattle if she'll enter into a planned marriage agreement with our children when the time comes... I'm not sure if she thinks I'm a creeper or not, she didn't agree to it.. I may have just totally ruined my sons chances with her daughter, and she's so sweet, both of them... Look at all the marriages around us.. I really think planned marriages are the way to go.. On another note... I'm holding my breath because my children and myself have been exposed to the stomach flu again.. I really should get some mental help with my "barfing phobia"... I'm not sure it's healthy... the barfing, or the phobia...  Also... my job at CCC is now done.. Betsy is back and the relief is huge.. as much as I loved the job.. I hated the responsibility.. I'm so glad nobody died while I was there... In yet, other news... One of my moms gave me a cool Gevalia coffeepot Sunday and I put it in our room and made coffee in it this morning.. this is going to work out so well... I can get that coffee pot ready the night before, wake up to fresh coffee... before I even make it to the kitchen, where our second coffee maker is... I'm excited about that. On the flip side.. I think it may be giving me heart palpitations.. I've been noticing them the more coffee I drink... I may stop drinking it.. or I may just switch to decaf... ugh.. that doesn't seem right...

This weekend

Yesterday during church, while the pastor was talking about "Nicodemus" ... Johnny turned to me with a very wary expression and said...  "Naked demons?... is he talking about naked demons?"... Maybe I should let him bring a little bag of toys to church after all.. :).. in other news we had an awesome night out with friends Saturday night and our Ben bowled an amazing game.. He came away with the incredible score of..... 6!! 6 pins... Suffice it to say.. he's not real excited to go bowling again... We also got in a bit of trouble... One of the children had a ball get stuck in the gutter, so the husbands, who were sitting casually behind us at a table, said... just roll another ball down the gutter... so we did... gently.... and it worked well, except the second ball gently hit the bar... and stopped everything.. The manager came over and fixed it, then reprovingly looked at my friend and I, and said, "If you hit the bar again, we're going to have to shut down your lane".... We were totally mortified.. meanwhile.. I think our husbands were sort of acting like they weren't even with us....  We'll probably not go bowling anytime in the near future.... but Freddy's and friends was awesome!!

What was the rest of that verse...

First of all, I loved my childhood.. I loved my grandparents and felt totally loved by them. They did an awesome job raising me, taking care of me, teaching Jesus to me.... and I know they did well, but for some reason, when I turned about 18... I started making choices that totally took me down the wrong path. They warned me so many times, they gave me the wisdom they learned in their lives, wanting to save me heartache and regrets and reaping for sins I was sure to add to the ones I already had, if I continued to turn my back on God's still small voice. If I could do it over, I would in a heartbeat. I know people say, you are who you are because of the things you've went through and you shouldn't have any regrets.. Well... I do, I regret the pain I caused the people who loved me, and even more, the pain I caused my Savior who died for me and my sins...  but I don't live in these regrets. I thank God that He continued to call me, that I had prayers galore from family and friends. I felt them, even in the darkest times, I knew God was there, asking me to just say "no" to the devil, the devil who was stealing my life, wrapping me up in chains I felt I couldn't break and and all the while, my heart was getting harder, so I hardly felt anything and anything I did feel, I quickly pretended like I didn't. It's like the song, "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns.. If I knew how to link and post stuff on my blog, I'd post that song right here.

My point here is this.... I was taught the Bible so much as a child... it was read at home morning, noon and night, at church, at school... I knew the Bible stories well... I knew so many verses by memory.. the funny thing I've been noticing though.. is that I know a lot of verses, but only half of them stick in my head... Like... "For the wages of sin is death...." I remember that part... I know the rest of it, but I focus more on that part... Why don't I focus more on the second part.... "But the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." I lived a Christian life, back in the day, of being afraid of God's anger and judgement, punishment, eternal damnation....I remember hearing, and I even thought it was in the Bible.... "If the love of God can't draw you, let the fear of Hell drive you.".... ugh...... Letting the fear of Hell drive you into living for God doesn't work so well..... The love of God drawing you... now that, my friend, works well.... If you don't feel that love, pray for it, God will give it to you, He's promised to answer our prayers... and that is a totally worthwhile prayer.... I promise!!

There's this one teacher at school, not to pick on any one teacher.. but this one... God totally shines in her. If she wouldn't think I was creepy, I would just stand by her, sit by her, soak her up every chance I had.... so I was thinking...  I know it's the love of Jesus coming out of her.. and His love is right here.. inside of me right now, beside me, all around me.. He's just right beside you too, in you, around you, totally in love with you. He wants us to soak Him up no matter where we are, what time it is, He never sleeps, He's never away, He always loves us, no matter how dumb we've acted, how full of doubt we are, how upset we get, how unforgiving we feel... He loves us, He forgives us when we ask... He lets us have do overs... Whether we're Christians or not, He loves us... He calls us to turn our lives over to Him anytime, anywhere, any place... Which brings me to another point.... I don't think this teacher has any idea of the impact God has chosen for her to be on peoples lives. She's so humble, I think that's a lot of the drawing... Christians don't have to be proclaiming how strong they are in Jesus, how much farther they are in their walk with Him than the next Christian.. etc.... Jesus can use us when we are humble and let Him work... We probably won't even know when we're being used by Him... What's that verse... God is the strongest in our lives, when we are weak... If I wasn't suppose to be somewhere in 5 minutes.. I would look that up.....

Okay, I didn't mean to post this... I wanted to post a funny story... but now look... it's not funny.... and it's too long... but I have to go, and if I start deleting and proof reading... I won't send it, and I think maybe I should....... <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

all this 

Jan 3, 2013

 I wish I knew how to post pics on here, that would make for a more exciting blog, and less words.

I'm nervous about today... this month.  I had a call from a friend ... an "almost stranger" a few weeks ago, asking if I could help her out by filling in for her, while she has neck surgery and recovers. She's the Nurse at Central Christian College.. I said, "Oh sure, that sounds like fun!" because it did..... then...... 3 weeks ago..... Yesterday, I ran up there for a bit to learn the ropes... I've been a Labor and Delivery nurse for 16 years, haven't really done anything else to speak of.. I'm pretty sure this is not my area of expertise.. If I have one, that is... Today is my first day... I'm feeling nauseous and shaky and it's not because of the whole pot of coffee I just finished off... I really hope everyone is healthy and nobody gets hurt for this whole month that I'm filling in.... I think I may even pray that before I get there today.. ARGH!  I can be so selfish... Let me take a moment and change my attitude.... I'm going to pray that for the students and faculty's sake.. not my own! Which also makes me realize, my lady I'm working for, is having surgery, probably right now as I speak, and I wasn't even thinking of her... I may be responsible for my son's the "world revolves around me" syndrome....  Adding Nurse Betsy to my prayers! .... At least this blog is going to teach ME something... I think way too much of myself and not enough of others... and there I go again.. thinking of myself over others!!!!! Ewww... yuck.. this could go and on..  

Overflowing and scattered thoughts

Today, my children are all healthy, although a couple of them still have a cough, but I hear that can go on for weeks after influenza. I'm not positive that's what they had, but a Dr. whom I admire and am very scared of at the same time, thinks they did. They were exposed and they had all the symptoms. I got the flu shot, (only because I had to, otherwise my hospital would have made me wear a big blue dot on my badge, along with a mask my whole 12 hours of work, symptoms or no symptoms... uhuh.. seriously. ) My point is, I didn't get sick, and I got the flu shot.... however, I do feel a little like morning sickness.... I hope the flu shot can't make you pregnant.

Okay, I wasn't even thinking of blogging about that. I wanted to blog about how different the day seems today. Am I the only one feeling that, or do others feel that too? I know my heart is aching with love and mourning for the families, children, and teachers in CT this last week. I feel so much love for them, all of them... I've never been a worrier, never, I have other issues, but worry isn't one of them... even now, when others say they are worried for their children, I'm not. I totally trust they are in God's hands. Wait a sec, I actually do have two worries about them, I've had them since each of them were born. Those two worries are.. that they might get the stomach bug, and that they might choose not to follow Jesus... I take those two worries to Jesus a lot..  not in that order. What hit me was... I was worried to send them to school today because I hear the stomach bug is going around and I don't want them to come home with it.. then I thought of all the parents who lost their children last week and how they would love to have their children come home with the stomach bug today... and all the parents who are scared to send their children to school because of this tragedy, and I was scared to send my children to school for fear they might bring home the stomach bug.. and I felt perspective push in. Then for some reason.. I felt like I really wanted to take cough drops to my children at school today.. just in case.. so I did. I pulled up to our little Christian school out in the country, the flag was flying half mast, I tried to walk in like I do so often.. and the doors were locked.. and I felt like tears might start falling..... Connie was quick to open the door for me, so thankfully I didn't lose it right then, but I was close.... Then I went to the office to sign in. Shannon #1 came in and I felt the sister love bond.... I just wanted to hug her, but I didn't cuz she's too tall to reach... just kidding, I didn't cuz I didn't learn hugging growing up, affection wasn't shown physically... or verbally for that matter, but it was known somehow... though I'm learning that I like the hugging, verbalizing love thing.. thanks to my friends, Steph, Renae, Heather, and my Bailey's friends.... I tend to hug quicker now, so watch out! Okay.. back on track.. Chapel was going on... and I felt Jesus as I walked in. Incredible love for our school family.. The beautiful, sweet innocent children, teachers.. subs.... everyone there... Oh how I love them.. and oh how Jesus reaches down and touches us with love, comfort and peace when we need it.... I pray this peace, love and comfort on the families in CT... I know the children who died are safe with no worry or fear, and at perfect peace right now.