What was the rest of that verse...

First of all, I loved my childhood.. I loved my grandparents and felt totally loved by them. They did an awesome job raising me, taking care of me, teaching Jesus to me.... and I know they did well, but for some reason, when I turned about 18... I started making choices that totally took me down the wrong path. They warned me so many times, they gave me the wisdom they learned in their lives, wanting to save me heartache and regrets and reaping for sins I was sure to add to the ones I already had, if I continued to turn my back on God's still small voice. If I could do it over, I would in a heartbeat. I know people say, you are who you are because of the things you've went through and you shouldn't have any regrets.. Well... I do, I regret the pain I caused the people who loved me, and even more, the pain I caused my Savior who died for me and my sins...  but I don't live in these regrets. I thank God that He continued to call me, that I had prayers galore from family and friends. I felt them, even in the darkest times, I knew God was there, asking me to just say "no" to the devil, the devil who was stealing my life, wrapping me up in chains I felt I couldn't break and and all the while, my heart was getting harder, so I hardly felt anything and anything I did feel, I quickly pretended like I didn't. It's like the song, "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns.. If I knew how to link and post stuff on my blog, I'd post that song right here.

My point here is this.... I was taught the Bible so much as a child... it was read at home morning, noon and night, at church, at school... I knew the Bible stories well... I knew so many verses by memory.. the funny thing I've been noticing though.. is that I know a lot of verses, but only half of them stick in my head... Like... "For the wages of sin is death...." I remember that part... I know the rest of it, but I focus more on that part... Why don't I focus more on the second part.... "But the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." I lived a Christian life, back in the day, of being afraid of God's anger and judgement, punishment, eternal damnation....I remember hearing, and I even thought it was in the Bible.... "If the love of God can't draw you, let the fear of Hell drive you.".... ugh...... Letting the fear of Hell drive you into living for God doesn't work so well..... The love of God drawing you... now that, my friend, works well.... If you don't feel that love, pray for it, God will give it to you, He's promised to answer our prayers... and that is a totally worthwhile prayer.... I promise!!

There's this one teacher at school, not to pick on any one teacher.. but this one... God totally shines in her. If she wouldn't think I was creepy, I would just stand by her, sit by her, soak her up every chance I had.... so I was thinking...  I know it's the love of Jesus coming out of her.. and His love is right here.. inside of me right now, beside me, all around me.. He's just right beside you too, in you, around you, totally in love with you. He wants us to soak Him up no matter where we are, what time it is, He never sleeps, He's never away, He always loves us, no matter how dumb we've acted, how full of doubt we are, how upset we get, how unforgiving we feel... He loves us, He forgives us when we ask... He lets us have do overs... Whether we're Christians or not, He loves us... He calls us to turn our lives over to Him anytime, anywhere, any place... Which brings me to another point.... I don't think this teacher has any idea of the impact God has chosen for her to be on peoples lives. She's so humble, I think that's a lot of the drawing... Christians don't have to be proclaiming how strong they are in Jesus, how much farther they are in their walk with Him than the next Christian.. etc.... Jesus can use us when we are humble and let Him work... We probably won't even know when we're being used by Him... What's that verse... God is the strongest in our lives, when we are weak... If I wasn't suppose to be somewhere in 5 minutes.. I would look that up.....

Okay, I didn't mean to post this... I wanted to post a funny story... but now look... it's not funny.... and it's too long... but I have to go, and if I start deleting and proof reading... I won't send it, and I think maybe I should....... <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

all this